I don't know what to think. I'm so mixed now. Basically 3 days until college starts.....I feel so mixed. I'm happy because it's something new, and it's a test to try and be out on my own (in a way). But...I feel like I'm losing so much. Soon...my boyfriend and I will take a break.....I don't know what to do. I hate the idea of feeling separated from him, but I guess that could be another test. Maybe I'm too dependent on his love for me, that I have almost forgotten to stand by myself again. He has shown a way where I can what I show on the outside can be what is in the inside. If we are meant to be...I'm the luckiest girl in the world. He wants me to be happy. He said even if it is with someone else, even though it would hurt him a lot. He would still want me to be happy. Right now, I can't imagine being with anyone else. He's perfect. Yes not every relationship is perfect, but to me...our love was perfect...1 year and almost 11 months...but technically it won't be 11 months. We will break it off before them. What do I do? I know I'll cry...I feel it right now. I don't know how I could possibly love someone else the way I do him. It feels like it's impossible...because he loves me...for me...quirks and all....what I call faults and failures...he calls cute and adorable. He's trying to make me promise to at least date one guy during college...to keep myself open for someone so I'm not just locking myself up for my Minotaur. -sigh- Let's hope this dragon can get herself together before college. I have great friends to keep me up from going into the shadows of sorrow, but I fear that every time I see his name...or even hear his voice...I'll falter and cry because I fear that I will lose him to someone else, but then I guess it means we weren't meant to be together right? I don't know, but I just pray God will let me know sometime.
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