There's a lot on his mind and some things are really getting to him...it was paining me to see him so frustrated when I went over to his house. So what do I do? I hug him of course! That's the only thing I know how to do to at least make a first attempt at cheering people up...the part I didn't think about?...him hugging back...the way he holds me, especially when no one is around... He's secretly a drug of some sort, I promise you. There is no way this guy should have such a hold on me like he does. I go from a person who absolutely despised people for most of my life and had very very few close friends...to someone who is losing her mind over someone that she loves so much and doesn't have surrounding her with his arms. How does this happen? How can someone break down the barriers with just a look and a few words when those walls were spent on years of hard work to build? Those spent years seem worthless now...and you know what is worse? Even on one of Minotaur's bad days like he just had...it was better than any of my days without him...
I look at my freshmen college days before summer of when I didn't see him...talk to him...those were a lot by the way...and I realize that I was never truly happy. yeah I laughed a lot and all the stuff, but I wasn't ever truly happy just like I was about and 2 hours ago. I was constantly smiling without even realizing it until now. We were flirting like no other too. Started out simple during the day, sticking our tongues out at each other, making fun. He constantly tickles me...which I find as a good sign. We are always competing with one another. I love it and half the time he starts it! -sigh- I'm crazy in love, and right now I can't have him. I don't want to push him either with how cruddy he's been feeling. With simply sticking our tongues out at each other, I made him smile even through the cruddiness feeling he had. I was so happy to something as simple as that for him. When he took me home...he smiled a lot more. I think if any outsider saw how we were when his family or people we really didn't know...they would think that we were dating.
So this is what happens...
He walks me home. I'm only a few houses down from him. We were talking here and there. Mainly me trying to figure out what was wrong with him and talking about my sister's craziness. Then we get to the door. I go for a goodbye hug. You would think those hug are suppose to be short and sweet. Mine and his aren't...ever. We just stood there...holding each other. I was in heaven for those moments. a minute? then he tickles me. both of us laughing and the usual flirting. I can't stop hugging him though. Every chance I get...I try to hug him. Hugs make me feel better...especially from him -sigh- only really from him...
I get him to take a break from tickling me and ask him out on a date like thing basically (ok it was to go see a movie cause I knew he was interested in going to see it) >.< He smiled! I think that's something! He said he would have to think about it after I told him when because he just was in a cruddy mood at the moment and wasn't sure also if his family had pre-made plans. I hug him again. He squeezes me tight...one of the best feelings in the world...to be held like that. It felt like his love again. Then the tickling begins. Competing with each other as usual. it stops. I go in for one more hug before he leaves, my arms around his neck....bad idea. what does he do?
"She's dead." he says.
"What?" I laugh.
"She's dead." He says again laughing a little. I realize what he means.
"Oh no. No no no!" I squeal like crazy while he has me trapped in his arms and tickling me. I couldn't break free. I even miss that like crazy. We were both laughing and flirting again. He sadly then has to leave...and sadly I won't be seeing him at church because he is off to see some of his family members. Like I said...I'm pretty sure he's a drug because I'm still high off of him since I'm smiling randomly...after the crying of course but hey I'm smiling :)
this has to be it....he's definitely my kyo
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